OK so was def not intentional and don’t want to complain but since my vaccine 2nd dose i have had a migraine (i did worry was this blood clot thing as silly nurse said if headache carries on past 3 days call them, but I was checked and my neurological responses were 100% which is great seeing as I was baked as it was 8pm haha) but yes headache now 10 days on still if I don’t take painkiller which sucks but otherwise I have been busy… either college, helping my mum in garden as summer has arrived !! yippee… or sleeping. But now I do feel a lot better and finally get to see my consultant face to face tomorrow.. I am torn between wanting to look amazing as the excuse to get dressed to go anywhere is a novelty even if is the hospital but also needing him to know how much pain I am in, there is a fine balance I am sure where by I look too healthy for him to take it as serious. I think I wont with the fake tan.
SLwhile I have gained another sister!!! Her name is Mixie and I knew we were kindred spirits when I saw she already uses an ankle lock and she is just 2 months old. So have been hanging having fun when I have been able to look at laptop screen, in fact the reason headache may still present is a 6 hr dance club marathon we completed earlier today, from practically when I woke lol. I am sure there is loads I can talk about gosh… Oh Dr Katie appointment we are 32 weeks now and next appointment is the birthing plan. We are having a home birth, I can’t wait it will be so cute…. Also am finally planning wedding but I want to ask Sato if can wait till after baby cos the dresses I like just look silly now. Oh actually maybe that can be the plan for his b’day in early August??!! Hmmmm will have to discuss.. I have a baby shower soon, not doing a gender reveal cos why like yay its a boy… hmmm yay its a baby is better for me tbh. I am sure gender reveals are dying a real death nowadays, they didn’t last long really as my mum said when she was pregnant with me you couldn’t get a gender but you could just see, yep healthy baby. Ohh really need to take photos babies nursery and that…. added to list.. Anyway for anyone who reads I’m wish you a wonderful start to June *hugs*
So I did have an invite for Eid when it was to take place yesterday but as the moon was not sighted that didn’t happen and I had promised my mum I would help her with something today and as she always says I put others before her I decided the Muslim thing to do was keep my plan with my mum and help her. Well despite my mum knowing this, she didn’t wake till 11am and its now 4pm so I asked, ‘You still want me to help you?’ she replied ‘well I need to do *unintelligible muffle* before so maybe not today*’ so as you can imagine I am a bit pissed off now, I just told her… YOU ASKED ME??? how is this happening, I have thin patience and she is just for lack of a better word a twat. The spite in me wants to now put her off for as long as possible, the task in question emptying her fish tank she told me she was capable of managing when I did query her purchase of this as she is disabled. How in the holy fuck I am more responsible and thoughtful than my own mother.. its like as I approach the age I would be having my own children my mum turns into some teenager that is so weird could never belong to me, but I have to look after it. What did I do to deserve this especially as murderous thoughts are something I was trying to combat during Ramadan. Life is a test they say…. you ain’t kidding!!
Ok so today I visited this event called ‘Pregnant in SL’ if anyone hadn’t noticed I am currently virtually pregnant XD …. There is a raffle giveaway of Love Momma and the Aphrodite Love bodies will leave the taxi link below. So I was hoping I would find some clothes rigged for the legacy pregnancy body but I haven’t.. I would like to know why this doesn’t seem to be a thing when there is a legacy pregnancy body. I would love some clothes with creases and shadows that show off my bump without it having some fake belly shape built in. I mean nothing ruins the whole RP experience than having to make your belly flat for some clothes and have a shape that is not the actual shape the same as when you are naked. I would just like to know why!!… Taxi to Pregnant in SL Second Life Maps | Venom
I also entered a contest that doesn’t seem to have been well advertised as it is for Cosmopolitans 9th anniversary and I can only find one other entry on Flickr which is rather odd, it closes in 2 days so if you are reading this you have until the 15th….. Hope all is well wherever in the world you may be… Eid Mubarak xoxoxoxox
Ohhh also if there are typos, for some reason maybe season change my right hand middle and index finger are swollen at top joints.. and sore… pffttt who knows as my inflammatory factors are ok apparently at the moment the doc says *shrugs*
So ok what prompted me to write todays journal even though I would have got around to it… I was there casually browsing SL destinations… looking at recently added and editors picks and what do I see?? Our own flipping coffee lounge.. I am gassed haha!! Can’t wait to show Sato and Elise… I mean it isn’t a busy place but that wasn’t what we were trying to achieve. We just wanted to build a nice little coffee lounge community and whoever participates does.. so well anywayss super haps! Kindred Spirits Coffee Lounge | Second Life Hopefully more people will come along and enjoy the place and once I get my resit done in my physical life I can then look at getting a calendar with regular events etc XD This actually comes when I had thought to myself this morning after trying to look at my finances that I may not have from next month funded as I have so many other interests in second life I can spend my linden dollars on and I wasn’t making use of it enough and nothing had progressed. Funny the way the universe can work, I mean a lot not only financially was invested into the place so would have been a pity… Feels like that’s changed my perspective now. Ok if this is any indication of my attention span today, I just got distracted by people folding things up really small and neatly on tiktok for like 10 minutes by accident haha… I blame it on the codeine not in a recreational way obvs!! I have a bad tummy (yeah yeah whats new) today but you know extra codeine worthy bad.
Nothing much to say about my final exam… we get results in 6 weeks on 24th June and I really cannot guess how I have done, I am more unsure about this than any exam and its the longest result wait of them all… typically…
Anyhooooo off to have dinner before my date with my sistren Elise at 11am SLT its been far far too long… I will post the photo here XD
I don’t know how to fix exam anxiety but I am 3000L$ lighter so I guess that kept me occupied, I grabbed loads of cutes gifts at events and managed to also spend 3kL$ so that how they get you. You get there and ‘ohhh freebies!!’ ad before you know it you are topping up your linden dollar balance *eye roll* My fave buy was this cute little cleaning day set by Movement that was at FaMESHed I fell in love and parted with 950L$ without hesitation then ended up staying awake late (9pm) as I was taking photos. But still 4am came and I was surprisingly bright so Sato and I went to get more free gifts/spend more money. I had not actually got any gifts after seeing the set that I bought as I had got so excited about it so we went off to FaMESHed I could spend an absolute fortune, I need a regular SL income to offset this.
Well its now 6am and I am going out with my mum today, she has an appointment and then she wants to nip in to some stores. Luckily they are all close together. I am thinking I will do some cleaning up and put some laundry on and then I better study a little until I start getting ready. It has been sunny, I put fake tan on last night and haven’t had a look at my legs yet.. fingers crossed I don’t have orange knees, normally St Tropez is good but I haven’t fake tanned in forever and so out of practice.. my face, arms and hands look acceptable but anything has to be better than the pale sticks hanging from my shorts the other day 😛
So last week I got a letter finally from the NHS and I will soon be having my surgery.. yippee!!! I have a pre-operative assessment on the 2nd of June with the surgeon so I guess it wont be too long after that. So I am going to try to at least get myself to the fitness of a 10k bike ride with ease, at the moment I seem to get to 7k and then my stamina is done and I’m just 20 mins in. then it takes me another 15 mins to complete the last 3k and the resistance isn’t any more than it was before. Yesterday I went out with my fairy god mum Hazel we went for a drive in her new car, she had some errands to run and we went for a nice walk and by the time I reached home I was exhausted as had more exercise and fresh air than ever. Hazels car is so lovely it is a soft top VW Golf in white, she got it gifted to her from a wealthy client of hers and she sooooo deserves it! She was having to cycle most places or use public transport before and she is the most helpful (and busy) person I know so I couldn’t think of anyone more deserving.
I have just finished class it is 11.40am and I already went to the cosmopolitan shopping event before college this morning and collected all the free gifts. I counted 43 but I think some may be men’s stuff I was literally on a quick grabbing fest. Teleport to Cosmopolitan event – Second Life Maps | No Comment The Anthem event also has a ton of gifts at the landing point which includes a wearable corgi!!!!! I did shop at both the Anthem and Modify event yesterday before I went for my trip out and grabbed a super cute outfit. I was saving in case I get asked along for an interview with the sorority but hey *shrugs*.. I will just have to buy another outfit 😛 The dress is the Luna Dress in Purple by Himedream and the shoes I will have to take a shot of but they are created by Love @ Modify event.
Wednesday also I went on the hunt for a nice place to gym with my hubby… I wanted to find some kind of health spa with sauna and steam facilities and there are a few but the nicest was with a sim called Wolfs Calling @ Nashoba. Keilani wellness centre really does feel like that and I look forward to when I have more time to visit and spend time enjoying all the facilities. Please go and visit and appreciate the work that someone has put into this lovely tranquil spot… much kudos to them Keilani wellness centre – Second Life Maps | Nashoba
Good Morning!!!!!!! Rise and Shine!!!! So it was a holiday weekend and I did not much but sleep and also do some studying (exam next week on 13th eeek) and have surprisingly woken up kind of refreshed. Unfortunately the first face I will see will be Maureen’s on zoom for class at 9am.. its now 7am I have been awake a couple of hours, done a couple of chores and all I need to do is make it look like I got dressed. I did attend my first zoom class in a purple, pink and black leopard print onesie and Maureen wasn’t that amused as she gave a talk to the whole class about getting dressed.. I was the only one in what appeared to be pj’s so it was directed at me haha! I have seen girls doing their shopping at Sainsburys in onesies and slippers so if you are from this estate its perfectly good attire.
So also good news paypal refunded the £50 that I paid for a desk from china that translated into a shitty wrist watch that would have cost more to post than make. I wont listen to my mum again, it was her gave me the link to ‘save me money’.. Funniest thing is they didn’t reply to my emails but I raised a dispute with paypal and they asked that I return the watch!!! haha its cost me a fiver which is more than it cost to make.. this shitty watch has seen more of the world than me!
Anyway I have a story to tell about a place on SL that I was advertised “Annual Lupus Awareness Fair” its currently Lupus awareness month and I have Lupus so its all about me and my kind!! lol but no its all about that someone can look very well in fact and be very much in pain. The fact is when I lost a lot of weight from being unwell everyone kept telling me how great I looked and how I felt could not have been further from that, I was even malnourished and had to take a lot of supplements to avoid having deficiencies and I never had energy, I also still ended up anaemic. The event is sponsered by some patrons in SL and is hosted by Sigma Upsilon Nu SL Sorority and I have actually applied to join as their main aim is to bring awareness to Lupus and they raise funds for US and UK Lupus charities. The sim is cute and they have lots of events to take part in over the Month of May. You can also pledge and get your photo taken for #itookthepurplepledge and the money raised will go to Lupus charities. I hope to hear back from them soon, I really think I could make myself useful within a sorority XD I have linked the pages below for anyone else who may be interested to learn about this… Oh and yay more good news my Sato is going to get his covid vaccine… Super happy about this!!
So yesterday I spent the day reminding myself what the day was, I even went as far to text my teacher before class to just check we were in. I then arrived 5 mins late and had to disturb everybody, how its possible to arrive late when I woke at 3.30am is beyond me but its my default. So I completely fucked the mock test up.. Maureen was sat a meter away I don’t know if this was for a reason *eye roll* So the last question I knew how to answer, we had to write an email correcting a banking error (so simple but time consuming) but as my stomach was making noises and Maureen was commenting on it I just wanted to leave. So I told her ‘I will text you my answer for the last bit I need the bathroom and I’m done’.. she told me it wont count oh well its a mock test I know I would pass so it does count for me .. fuck you Maureen. All the shops were open but no stopping for me my poor tummy wasn’t happy as I daren’t eat before class and I had been awake 7 and a half hours. Anyway enough of me complaining… So my mission to steal the kitty over the street is underway, she is hanging around the doorstep now but trouble is my mums big old bitch of a cat was acting gate keeper at the door and body slammed her so now need to think of a solution for this. We can’t make my mums cat unhappy but you know there is plenty of room I am going to research to see what will make her more accommodating.
The thing is this kitty over the street… I have now named her Cleo.. I don’t think they would be hugely bothered but they will be if they think I am being judgey which I am cos you wouldn’t let yourself get a skin condition like that and just leave it and she is oh yes she is pregnant!! So figured this out yesterday as managed to get closer and pet her properly, I don’t know if they even know. I am afraid that they will want her even more if she is pregnant as people sell kittens for a lot of money like £150+ but I would not buy a kitten if its mother looked like she did, that’s so cruel. I need to be careful how I go about this I mean it may even shame them into taking her to the vet, who knows?! but that would be great!
Today is my favourite day of the week!!! Fri yay!! I start off by some virtual shopping always as there are sales on… I will link the pages for those that start today!!! I am hoping for a hair… some cute clothing and also some nice low prim decor and stuff for our home… I still have the nursery to decorate and I have seen there is a walk in shower on the Fifty Linden Friday sale that is perfect for the bathroom and 16 prims so not too bad as it is adult animated *wooohoooo!!*
I have been super busy since last week, not really doing anything worth writing about either so hence my blog has suffered. Sat here watching the news at the moment and super baffled in fact. Ok so the EU are suing AstraZeneca over fulfilment of orders… but AstraZeneca is a not for profit vaccine.. so effectively they are trying to sue a charitable act!! I mean what the fuck is going on!! Why can’t people just be helpful. Put on top of that the fact the vaccine is mainly being manufactured in India who have been suffering the worlds worst surge and I think that the EU should be told to go fuck themselves, Pfizer is their vaccine (which is made for profit I may add) let them buy that and fund capitalism in a world crisis. Isn’t that what happens with war? This is why socialism can’t work, as people are unhelpful and they don’t want to feel obliged to help anyone outside of ‘their circle.’ I don’t really ever get along long with people who do not have compassion for world crisis and don’t recognise the privileges that can come from having a voice, money, a part in the western world etc etc. I bet that AstraZeneca curse the day they created this vaccine as they have been under scrutiny ever since… its a fucking charitable act between a quite small pharmaceutical brand and Oxford University surely this is all wrong as from a normal human perspective it just seems super unhelpful and a waste of energies. Watching the news is very triggering for me nowadays and I have to filter stuff so I don’t get too worked up about it. We really should be careful what we expose ourselves to and the feelings it can stir up in us as some things are not worth the negativity they make us feel. There is always good and hopeful news, you just have to look for it.
I have not had a huge lot of activities going on in second life and hope to take Britney out again today, I have done quite a lot over the weekend despite my not journaling about it. Sato and I had a great catch up and did some stuffs around our new home. It is very difficult during the week for us to spend time. He works full time and to be fair I try and keep myself busy in my physical life and often when I am on SL, looking for nice locations for us to visit together or making our home nice. I found a lovely sim called Craggy Island that really does feel like Ireland… you know how some sims magic is lost when you suddenly see mountains or plants that wouldn’t exist in that part of the world and it shatters all the immersion. Craggy Island really did have me reminiscing of my granny singing Irish folk songs. I cannot wait till the weekend to show this place to Sato.. so yeah thats what I tend to have been doing. In my physical world I have in fact been trying to steal one of mums neighbours cats… it has really bad fleas that are visible and sores and scabs over its body. It has taken a liking to my kitty Lucky and I have been petting her but she is covered in bald patches. I am in fact hoping to confront the people when I get opportunity and suggest they take her to the vet, depending on their response is when I will decide what to do next (I do have a horrid feeling it may not be good, I need to figure out how to do this). In the UK we have charities that will treat your animal for you for free and you just pay for the meds, you should realise this responsibility when you become a pet owner and if you cannot fulfil it then you give up your pet. They are not elderly, vulnerable or anything so I am not being unhelpful. They seem very capable of running 3 cars in the household of at least 3 adults so its by no way a means of judgement that is ignorant and unfair. I cannot however afford to run my car right now but I know I would take their cat to the vet at my expense if they would let me as its not about them. Oh shit let me actually go and do something worth journalling about rather than rant on here and bore the world to death… love to everyone.. be helpful and be your best 1self xoxoxoxo
Ramadan Mubarak all ❤ Ok so when did I last post??…. Oh Sunday wow ok I have been a busy girl. So I started my week decorating as Sato bought us a lovely new home that I have been filling with kittens. The decorating has been a welcome therapy from studying for college and it is the perfect little studio for me to take photos with my kittys ❤
College was a complete drag, Maureen is as always rude and actually racist this week so now I am in a dilemma of do I report her or do I just allow that crap to happen around me. So story is she was recanting a story to us abt an accounting client of hers who when she didn’t get to door in time when she was on a zoom class went in her back door and left the papers on her kitchen counter. The reason for this she believes is (wait for it.. its unbelievable)…. he is from Bangladesh… they live in mud huts so don’t really get doors……..??!!!! wtf!!! I informed her I don’t know where her client is from in Bangladesh but my brother in law is from there and grew up in a mansion. She must be thinking of somewhere else… like 100 fucking years or more ago! I was then anxious the rest of class thinking that she thought it was fine to say this and put me in this moral dilemma. I mean its not inciting hate, but it is a derogatory generalisation that is very ignorant. Stupid old rude bitch. I think to sit and allow people to do things or say things is as bad as saying it yourself. Its not acceptable to be silent, like being an accessory to the fact. I don’t want to ask any of my classmates about it, cos none of them are really mates but I wonder if anyone else thought that really wasn’t ok or its just me. I guess I am still sensitive to things that people would say about Turkish men when I was growing up. They are greasy, they are womanisers, sleazy, all coming to get visas etc etc and I would be like ‘ Interesting, my dad’s Turkish”. When I would tell people I had been to Turkey for a vacation and people would tell me yuk, they would never go there. the men are all trying to get a visa, they don’t like Turkish people so I have to then tell them ” that’s a pity, I’m half Turkish” . People don’t understand what its like, I have even felt a kind of embarrassment at times which is terrible as how can I be ashamed of myself for my nationality and its so disappointing to have to correct peoples ignorance when they should know better. Maybe I should just incite some ignorance in Maureen next week and wear a hijab into class (we are back in physical school next week) I am sure she will display ignorance of the highest, I don’t think she has a fucking clue. She owns a caravan (she always talks about it!) so I think Scotland is the limit of her cultural education.
Oh yes and what I intended to write about today!! So I placed 2nd in the contest at Beverly Airport and Marina!!! Super chuffed and won 500L$ so spent that immediately on mesh food for iftar on Friday with Sato. All in all it hasn’t been a bad week, I have loved decorating the home its been a dream, I haven’t even started upstairs yet… Next week thats on my ‘to do’ list after college as I have final exam 13 May XDDD Yikes
will insert piccies I have taken at home this week… enjoy ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I thought I was happy with the house we had until I saw the Caylin Ranch by Trompe Loile and that was it, I showed Sato and he also fell in love and before I knew it I had packed everything up and so now the moving in begins. Maybe its like a nesting? we went to see Dr Katie yesterday and I think having to decorate a nursery has given me inspiration plus to be fair the other house was small for our needs. I have been up since before damn dawn (that was a genuine misspell although I feel damned right now) I have got the house set down and my energy has been exhausted. I am having a real life haircut. This is the closest a human will have been to me in months I have my cat to cuddle so I am cool XD
Dr Katie was great as ever, I really don’t have experience of many other maternity facilities in ‘Second Life’ but I am sure I have found one of the best. Dr Katie always puts me (not the most confident role player) at total ease and its always a great experience. We are at week 26 right now and our mystery gendered baby is big and strong. We also got a great scan photo I cannot wait to share… Gotta wait for Sato and also gender reveal needs arranging <3… anyways off to get my haircut and then have a nap before the hubby wakes because I am all ready to drop and its only 10.30am *sigh* these early starts will be worth it.
Hi Friday I hope your week has gone well… mine has been a little bit busy, studying for my retake… helping one of my friends with her paperwork. For all of those observing Ramadan I hope your week has been enlightening and humbling. I have actually managed to wake early enough for prayer each day bar 1 (3am so we are talking middle of night early) but I cant fast as I’m not well. I have however been refraining from eating say luxury foods and snacks. I have dedicated 2 hrs a day to studies. For my act of charity I am trying to start a foundation of sorts that is linked to the coffee lounge and researching that has taken a lot of time this week. Hopefully that will be up and running in time for Eid.
My SL Ramadan has started nicely I have been trying to improve my photo skills, watching tutorials and practicing… Ohhhh I entered another photo contest at Beverly Airport I will link it here in case anyone actually reads this and would like to enter, its a bit different than any contests I have entered before there is a gallery and you have to upload your photo onto a contest board Beverly Airport and Marina Second Life Maps | Raimondo
Sato and I are going on a date to the airport on Saturday as they have a bowling alley!! how retro! I need to actually look for some bowling shoes for us both and I know I have none and I always like to dress the part its literally an obsession.
Oh one thing I do need to document to read back on and know I didn’t need to stress, I haven’t been guaranteed a place yet on my course as I need to get my grade they say.. so have been wait listed… thanks to me and my shocking bad grades… hope my mum isn’t reading this as I hadn’t told her yet, although she knows I have struggled I just have my final on 11th May and I know I should be ok but can’t deny there is an underlying stress. I am sure it will all work out ok whatever happens I cannot get too stress because then I will fuck up this exam too *face palm*
Today I took a beautiful photo at ‘The Outer Garden’ I was looking for somewhere for Britney to stretch her legs… its beautiful… she is beautiful… one day I will have a real life Britney and ride her to the supermarket 😛
Have a lovely weekend folk… I shouldn’t shop cos its Ramadan but after 8.30pm I guess I can 😀
So I had done some stuff on my to do list before I even managed to write on the to do list this morning *dusts shoulders* … 1 that I had a sudden burst of inspiration for was the Frogmore Photo Contest 2021… I pictured myself holding on navigating around via balloon.. a bit like ‘James and the Giant Peach’. Floating around exploring from above with Lucky my wonder cat, making friends and having adventures XD. Many a dream and a nightmare have been influenced by Roald Dahl books.. its really a gift to have such an imagination. That’s why its so hard to create a sim that evokes an atmosphere of what it represents… When I was at Frogmore strangely on the shoreline where I took my photo gives me vibes of Mexico or somewhere, Sato said the same. Its probably the mountains… I know it is supposed to represent a Cornish coast, maybe if there were hills… It could look like some places in Wales I imagine. Whichever it is a beautiful and peaceful place that creates a feeling of summer and I love it. I can just imagine eating ice-cream and studying beneath a tree.
Ohhh in real life news the summer of last week is long forgotten as we got snow for about an hour yesterday so hence why I am grabbing sl summer with both hands and creating my own sunshine until college returns next week. Lock down has slightly lessened today again and I cant wait to start making plans when I am well also to go to the parks and hang out with friends but for that to happen I will not need to wear a coat 😛 I am making tacos and salad today I have had to make salsa and seasoning all non allergenic for me I have been a busy little bee…. I really hope the rest of the world is having a great start to the week and if not I have loads of virtual socially distanced hugs with your name on them… xoxoxoxox
So before Spring break I couldn’t wait to get college over and done with now I just want to get back and then start on my new course for next year. Business management with digital technologies, I will have graduated enough to be a freelance book keeper this year so hopefully I can get some income as soon as I’m a little more stably well, like 50% of the week well will do.
I have had a lovely weekend and rested lots, saw my Sato and had Sunday morning cuddles and breakfast… I have been super busy in the sales… next weekend I aim to make it a more leisurely experience rather than a smash and grab… laying there wishing you felt well wastes a hell of a lot of time. I will be on top of my best source Seraphim | Your premier Second Life™ shopping resource (seraphimsl.com) for the rest of this week for sales.
I am looking to post an entry for the Frogmore Estate contest Frogmore 4.0 Photo Contest 2021 | Flickr maybe that is where I will set up to do my studies tomorrow. I want to get ahead a little and hole a study group with a couple of class mates and intend to feel like a healthy human… today really has not been bad at all I am trying not to get excited about that in case it doesn’t last…. its not pessimistic, it may seem so but being disappointed isn’t fun and its like ‘famous last words’ as soon as I pay attention to it historically this hasn’t boded well for me. So here’s to hoping I feel super in the morning and that I don’t know maybe I’m pushing things but some not terrible news for the world would be wonderful.
Tributes for the week go to HRH Prince Phillip The Duke of Edinburgh & Nikki Grahame of Big Brother fame who lost her battle with anorexia. She always would get so distressed about things its quite terrible her anxiety made for reality tv drama. I hope she is in a more peaceful place, her poor family God bless them… its so very sad ❤
So yesterday I did intend to visit an exhibition, but I got there and it was busy… and I felt awkward taking photos as a tour was about to start to went in search elsewhere. I browsed the second life destinations page and came across a avatography and avatar art gallery so I thought ‘hey, thats kind of what I do right?’ and went to browse. So here I am White Box Art Gallery…. Talula Shippe is the artist who has curated all these works on her journeys and adventures across the SL globe, celebrating the grace and movement of the female body I can truly relate in how she feels to express herself through her avatar as she is unable to with her real life body. It is a very freeing feeling to be able to be fully able bodied and enjoy all joys that mobility can bring. I love how she has captured movement and emotion in a lot of her work, and a few pieces made me want to be able to jump straight in. I can recommend this gallery as a source for inspiration in your own avatography.
Real life I am just struggling energy wise, I am currently waiting on 2 procedures with horrendous waiting lists (20 + weeks) the NHS has really suffered during covid, I am sure there will terrible consequences for some and that’s a little bit unthinkable. I havent been face to face with my own primary care practitioner for way over 1 year now but I am aware and what if you are not. I find that a very awful thing to think about, the whole aftermath of covid will be a lot more devastating. Thank god I wont graduate for another 2 and a bit years the prospects may be better and I am going to try and shape my degree course towards something I know will be of use to this new ‘normal’ … people and kindness are what the world needs right now… lets all try to be part of the solution in everything… humans we just need to always be better ❤
So this has always been a problem but I guess my career used to be such a social environment it masked it and for some reason people just used to wanted to be my friend which used to baffle me. Oh yes and for the last week while looking for a way to overcome this I have been sorting out my education for next year… ughhh long process but I wanted a small tweak career path wise so I suddenly was faced with options and selecting one was quite frustrating.. regardless its all sorted out now and I am feeling quite good, I need to get cleared and accepted and pass my exam next month so lets not think about that during spring break.
So the problem.. I don’t know when to join in… or how to join in most times… so it may not make sense… hmmm how to explain. Ok so example… I see a group of people being social walking along, I may know many of them… like how do I join along? it feels like when you would be playing skipping in playground and its your turn and you have to time it correctly. Then what happens is unless someone kind of includes me I just stand there probably smiling I mean it looks fun I don’t mind just standing there, but other people mind me just standing there hopeless and don’t realise I just don’t know how. But also is the other problem, in my efforts to find my place in the puzzle I want to be helpful and then can stick my nose in and seem bossy and a bit rude??!!! Arghhh social situations are a frickin minefield and I mean everyone feels like this way right? in some way I am sure… Lol I don’t know. The thing is over the last 2 years where I am not in an everyday situation of socialising and drinking wine, being involved in music etc I now realise how it is a problem and maybe not everyone gets this and it has become such an anxious burden, people don’t like it and I am scared of not being ‘normal’ and people pointing it out and being upset with me. I feel like I have learnt social cues and I do care how people are but I just don’t know always how to approach a conversation about it. I hope this is something I can fix… cos I’m trying but the trying seems to be just making it all stick out even more… hahaha I mean I don’t mind hanging by myself and such doing my hobbies… I just don’t want people mad at me as I really do come in peace 😛 *face palm*
So “Second life” today I am going to explore lets hope I have some nice adventures so I can come back here and write all about it and pretty photos.. cos otherwise its me talking about TV shows or podcasts and that isn’t so interesting… Oh I have started to create fabric textures though using the colour palette I have also created via photoshop….. when I package them up I will put the thumbnails here XD
Today I have been studying my ass off for my next exam which is on Management accounting and elements of costing. To be honest this is the one I have felt the most confident in so far and today I have been achieving scores of over 90%.. my errors have actually been down to me not reading the question thoroughly. As Maureen always says RTFQ (Read the fucking question) …literally her motto and I could hear her as I realised my mistakes. Oh well thank God for social distancing can be in and out of there in a flash tomorrow, take the exam, grab books for next term after Easter and I’m taking my Spring Break Weeehoooo! Here in the South of England we have a heatwave, its to reach 21C tomorrow and be in the high teens all week I am planning to make some use of it and mow my mums grass and take her on a few walks from Wednesday and then next week it looks set to return to a normal Spring and wouldn’t be surprised if we get snow the week after.
I really do wish I could study something I will be more passionate about but I need something that will be easily accessible in earning potential on a self employed basis from home and I literally cannot think of any other options. I have to force myself to study this and I’m sure I make it far more difficult in the fact I don’t really enjoy it all that much. I mean I actually have an established career that I am unable to pursue any longer cos of my disability so my options are limited and this is a means to an end… All I can hope for is to get some very interesting clients who’s accounts will be 1, Profitable for me 2. Interesting to cook *cough cough* reconcile 😛 I am joking I promise!!
I didn’t second life much at all really today apart from to say good morning to my lovely Sato who also has been trying to instil confidence in me for tomorrow…. Eeeeeeek well its time for bed shortly and my plan is to wake at 7am… do a 30 mins bike ride…. shower etc and be ready for class at 9.15am and then revise a little after class while I decide which of my summer clothes gets its first outing of the year for my exam at 5.30 😀
So finally I got courage enough to enter a photograph into a contest… sounds so silly but I get anxious over these things and I don’t even understand why, I don’t even feel like asking for help anymore cos it seems to fall on deaf ears… maybe its hard to imagine I get palpitations and my throat starts to close up when I do something that would bring attention to myself.. thats the least in fact cos last time I tried to do show jumping practice in second life my hands just became jelly and I had to strip half my clothes off as I got so flustered haha.. funny but not funny. You would think that with the laptop between me it would help but it doesn’t, sometimes thats even more difficult. So yippeeeee its done my entry.. made it better that it is a photo with my darling Sato, he always holds my hand and is probably bored stupid ❤ I wouldn’t blame him if in fact he was watching TV while I instructed him what to accept and wear. I appreciate my Sato so much and wouldn’t have been able to create the beautiful image without him. ❤
1 more day tomorrow of study before I take my 4th out of 5 exams for the year… If I can get over 90% Tuesday and my final exam grade is over 81% I should be able to finish the year on a merit… along with my re-take of course but I should be ok with that one I have been practically putting to use everything from that exam all year (I was too sick to take my first exam in October)… ughhh just realised if I wasn’t doing accounts and finance I probably wouldn’t have been able to break down what grades I need with such ease and wouldn’t be so stressed out… Ok I’m off to relax doing my new favourite technique.. A dark room and Russell Brand on YouTube. Its like listening to your really high friend talk about really deep shit while you just lay there and listen, it helps to be high also haha!! I will link it for any other weirdos who want this experience XD enjoyyyyyyyy!!!
Sooo a hellur busy week for me along with dealing with side affects from my increase in elavil,. basically if I haven’t been studying I have been sleeping and then each day took a little down time to take some photos… which also were affected by my sleepiness… I am told this will wear off but no way am I taking my morning dose Tuesday before my exam. I am far more confident about this exam than I have been with others but last time I only scraped through so dammit I want/need a 90% so I finish with a merit this year. The next exam is the synopsis of the year and I also have a retake, God help me!!
I love Saturday mornings… I go sl shopping with the best sale lists 60L Happy Weekend sale by ACCESS | access-sl (access-sl.com) & Vendor Ads Blog – The Saturday Sale – SL (wordpress.com) then by the time I am about half way through my lovely hubby will wake up and come online ❤ We always have a little catch up at home, we hardly see each other during the week… then we go have another little nap XD. I gotta say I struggled really to get energy all day but my best sale finds were at Lunar who have up to 40% off store wide as they have relocated and also Top1 Salon who have a full face makeup set for lelutka and Genus.. it has highlighters for diff parts of face and all types of cosmetic enhancements.. really nice and 60L so win win win!!! Hope to have more energy after my exam, maybe its stress… I dunno I just can hardly lift my arms…. Looking for to a lovely date with hubby later and taking photos together this weekend.. I am hoping he will DJ for an hour or so tomorrow morning… Love him so much ❤ I have included a selection of photos taken this week oh and my fave ever photo undersea… Loves it XD
My mums family are Irish so I should really take advantage of this day a lot more and Sato’s family are all originally Irish so our kid would basically be Irish with a slight hint of Turk from me so the poor mite hopefully wouldn’t burn so bad like an inbuilt factor 20. My mum is really, pale she can get sunburn sitting near the window on a sunny day. She has also told me when I was a baby the midwife and nurse would always comment on how pale I was, it really bothered my mum as she remembers it and she doesn’t remember anything.. no doubt my mum probably kept me out of daylight most times cos I’m not so pale in my adulthood but my hair is slightly strawberry and I have many times been sunburnt abroad… Oh yeah and I have freckles from my mum… my mum becomes one big freckle in summer.
I didn’t SL much today tbh I couldn’t not take photos though as it is St Patricks Day but I really wanted to see Sato and go celebrate it, something has really upset my pain levels this last week. I wish I knew what cos I am feeling rather fed up and sorry for myself and just exasperated with it all. Spoke to a General Practitioner at my doctors office who upped one of my meds but it will take a while for it to have some effect as its to help neuropathic pain from my poor tired out stomach nerves, 46 weeks I’m guessing now till surgery and counting… lets hope these waiting lists start moving now people are being vaccinated *prays* My poor Sato I hope he doesn’t mind our date being postponed and not celebrating St Patricks 😦
So last week I was remembering the times I had been assaulted on London’s streets after I learnt of Sarah Everards murder. There were 2 serious incidents but the first on the bus, the man got 100 hrs community service.. had a 7pm curfew (he assaulted me at 5pm so go figure) and paid me £250 in compensation which I got £5 per week for however long. The second guy on the train, he had mental health and alcohol problems. He was ordered to attend meetings for his problems and me I was just left with the ones he gave me. Oh and it kept being repeated that he couldn’t remember grabbing me and exposing himself, like that somehow was ok even though CCTV from the train showed the fact. Nothing was brought up to how I DO remember. I am kind of a slight girl, 5ft 2 and around 130lbs (now its like 120) and both of these men were at least 200lbs.. how was that justice. Now the women are protesting and I am here for it, think of the most influential protesters in the most recent protests.. climate change, BLM, #FreeBritney, Anti Vaxxers even, they were mainly women! Its about time we said ‘Fuck the police!’. and hell have no fury and all that. I even remember the second time on the train I was questioned over how much alcohol I had consumed and my outfit had been frowned upon… disgusting… I had been out with colleagues to celebrate my new big job on the Monday in the City… this was the Friday, We had only gone to Croydon centre after office hrs.. I wasn’t even tipsy or dressed up really. These incidents have all happened in the last 8 years and just the constant anxiety of having to bat off unwanted and often derogatory attention from guys on the road is tiring enough but add in the weight of knowledge that the guy may turn around and just force his way anyway its too much.. I am so OVER London and I am so with these women… its all about time! PC Wayne Couzens may you get fucked up forever in prison for what you did to Sarah Everard, imagine pretending you are a person who is here to protect people and you use that for the opposite. They hate police in jail… he is so fucked!
SL-while I wanted to create some pretty shots today.. I bought this cute pant suit over the last 2 weekends in the sale, cos I’m cheap like that 😛 and I am literally craving blossom.. Su-Shi is a beautiful sim and I visited the old town and its a pastel heaven… I keep staring out my rl window waiting for the trees to bloom but for now I can thankfully immerse myself in Spring on SL and hope that one day rl places like Clapham Common are safe spaces for anyone, woman, child, man to be alone ❤
Welcome to Monday.. Happy new week! There is 1 lonely daffodil in my mums front garden so life feels much sunnier. Yesterday was Mothers Day in the UK so woke up in the morning to make my Mumma breakfast.. not in bed, she hates food in bed.. she isn’t the biggest fun lol. Not a whole lot to say on that.. Mum opened pressies and we had breakfast together.. we chatted a while.. it was nice… I have a feeling my brother didn’t make the hugest effort but what’s new, I think in fact he may not have called her himself which isn’t really on to be fair but I might be wrong. So sl-while I had to finish getting the coffee lounge ready for today which was just that.. chores that I had been putting off 😛
So today we open Kindred Spirits …. I have my lovely hubby Sato who has ditched work for me to DJ and hold my hand, gosh I am lucky. I’m horribly anxious about it but more in a what will I do with people once they are there cos I am so awkward rather than ‘what if no one comes’ in fact I mean the whole point is for people to come but I’m quite happy to have a place to hang out and maybe some other people might turn up and like it. Oh yeah but that won’t work cos hanging out by myself doesn’t bring a penny in haha, kind of the point in having a business.. profit… quite hilarious I will be an accountant one day soon and this seems like a revelation. Its been a bit of a tiring day…. Ohhhhh and I got a desk yesterday so now Im super comfy typing away… here’s to the start of the week… may it be a prosperous one for all XD
So Saturday arrives with all its glorious offerings… a new episode of ‘Life after Lockup’.. Saturday and access weekend sales… my husband is off work… an appointment with Dr Katie
So rl was first before my hubby woke and imagine you can get a supermarket delivery, fresh flowers and all within an hour on deliveroo in outer London, my life has just elevated!! Mothers day organised, breakfast and flowers delivered I am stress free!! Oh yeah its mothers day in the UK on March 14th XD my mum has…flowers, perfume, some fancy fudge, Montezuma chocolate…. oh a balloon!! its in the wardrobe in the spare bedroom, I’m very forgetful… I need to remind myself of this! otherwise we will be finding it like I found that bag of weed about a year after I moved home and it was dust (it had been in a box near a radiator.. yes there was a persistent waft of weed in that area but I’m me *shrugs*)
So today Saturday brings many joys for me… I was particularly looking forward to this Saturday as we have an appointment with Dr Katie and its when we find out if we are expecting a girl or boy… not that it matter too much but obviously in terms of name…. although I have just girl names haha…..
I cannot.. I mean we cannot recommend a lovelier doctor than Dr Katie… Off we tp to Storks Nest Maternity clinic we always look forward to these appointments and Dr Katie is always so patient and greets us with a lovely smile…. So today we get our gender reveal, to be fair it doesn’t mean a huge deal to me I hope to bring my child into a gender neutral zone and feel that they are free to make decisions based not on peoples gender stereotypes…. so important info… all my blood work and sats/blood pressure are great…. seems that yoga and meditation are paying off along with ice cream therapy XDDD 1litre of mint choc chop a week, lactose free ofc!! then we went and both rested as #exhausted…. Grand opening of café Monday so need lots of rest… haha so I guess I should reveal.. but I won’t for now… I haven’t told my besties and fam yet xoxoxox
I just could not journal yesterday, my teacher pissed me off far too much for me to say anything I want to read about again. Maureen has taken it upon herself to ‘cancel’ Easter break as we will still be under a semi lockdown we ‘may as well’ do zoom classes and get ahead.. I still can’t get over how I was the only person out of 14 that protested this and when I did Maureen said ‘I can do in my own time’ … Ok Dr Who I thought all my time is my own time, anyway I complained to the head of faculty about that bitch today. Its not her who has to be well enough for class and delay taking pain meds so I can concentrate and if she does, she is getting paid with my tuition fee. Anyway I am calm now… I wanted to check a few places out that were new in featured Second Life destinations and exploring alone is a safe bet when I am grumpy. So I gave myself Wednesday off to check some places out.
So got into the cyber event to pick up the shoes.. and shit they are even more cute than I imagined they would be so I’m seriously gassed and glad I started here as my first stop cos this would better complete my look. Didn’t see a massive amount of stuff for me at this event but these shoes were def worth the lag. Some super cool stuff though…. I had been wanting to visit GEL Amusement Park for a week or so now and it has loads to enjoy here. Its probably better with a group of people so hopefully thats the plan this weekend. I really enjoyed the haunted mansion the most, I really felt as if I were on a journey on a real ghost train… super cool. I will link it below…. Also want to express sadness today that they found a girl that was missing close to my home area in South London. Sarah Everard, she had been abducted and murdered on her way home.. on the exact same streets I will often walk home from places in South London. A police officer has been arrested in connection with it which makes it even more scary, I have had a few things happen to me in the eves in London.. I have been exposed to on a bus.. I was grabbed and assaulted on a train a few years ago on my way home from a work event the man got off as he has a drug problem and ‘issues’ … I wouldn’t trust a copper anymore than anyone else now, they have always failed to protect me and this confirms that for me. Poor Sarah and her poor family God bless them, its very sad …RIP
P.S… A little jump for joy that Piers Morgan has gone from the breakfast morning screens though… can’t stand his smarmy face. He is just butt hurt Meghan ghosted him when she got with Harry.. what a bitter man.
Ok so I don’t know why my mind works this way or even if I care and I had planned on journalling about 90 day fiance but there is so much to say and I still love Yara and I cried a lot as there were lots of wedding dress try on’s (happy tears) and so probably best we don’t go back there haha!!.. Instead I think we need to talk about this person that got ‘tracked’ down in Croydon that they knew had Brazilian variant positive test but hadn’t completed form correctly. So when the search was on I had this vision of all these people like you know in Willy Wonka when Veruca Salts dad has all those factory workers looking for a golden ticket. I pictured these contact centres with all these ppl social distancing at desks on min wage, hunting for the missing Brazilian variant carrier and finally hooray… “Its here I found them!!!” and they are all socially distant jumping for joy and the government are like “give it to us!!!” snatching the details and the government are celebrated for finding this rascal who cant complete forms correctly!! And off the poor test and trace employee goes to do their normal job of letting people know they need to isolate for 14 days as they have been exposed to covid19… Then I remembered we have intelligence agencies and Boris was probably making out it was a lot more hassle than it really was, I have watched Killing Eve. Well as any Monday I started with 90 Day fiancé and then do the vacuuming, dusting, put laundry in and change my sheets. I like to start my Mondays fresh so when I have college Tuesday I have nothing to do and my mum doesn’t have to either.
Sooo My second life plan… get changed into my gift outfit for “International Womens Day” from my gorgeous hubby Sato and find somewhere fun for photos. Was feeling total Barbie vibes and this new vip gift hair from Truth needed an outing. I loved my Barbie I’m sure there were supermodel Barbies even and by the end of the 90’s I was obsessed with supermodels esp Kate Moss and Tyra Banks… then Tyra did Americas next top model omg that was my show!! I loved Kate Moss most as she was the face of Rimmel make up, I grew up buying everything she endorsed, plus she is from Croydon ❤️ .. I have always enjoyed dressing up….So today I am Barbie and I’m loving it!! I believe Barbie was a feminist I don’t know why people see her as anything negative, she has more shit and more talents and hobbies than most the mums telling their daughters she is a bad role model and she got it all herself.. props to my girl Barbie 😛 …. I had an all around quiet day today, college tomorrow and well its just been a quiet few days… saw Sato a few hours on Saturday for our lovely date otherwise its me, myself and I tping around chatting with randoms… at least I can’t offend anyone too easily XD
Sooo gosh I haven’t had much time or energy to journal.. Friday saw my rl legs walking 17000 steps (according to my iphone) in a bid to remain out of human contact on my way to and from a nurse appointment. It was a beaut of a day, spring is trying to break through winter and one of my friends joined me for some of the journey on her way to somewhere and we grabbed a delish soya caramel latte (organic ofc) .. had to sit in the park a little, I am incapable of walking and drinking from a takeout coffee cup its a quirk of mine 😛 So well anyway the evening came along and I was feeling a bit shit in real terms, my body ached and I kept sneezing. I then realised is prob down to this sort of hilarious but distressing thing happened. So on my walk it had been approx 2 degrees C and I had on uggs (warm feet) and an Abercrombie and Fitch cropped down filled puffa jacket (warm torso)…. on my legs… skinny jeans (frozen legs) which I peeled off when I reached home. I felt as if I were warm, in fact I was a bit too warm but my mum and I were laughing as my legs were literally frozen to touch, bright red and they were numb to me…. then…. they weren’t! Suddenly my legs/bum from ugg top height to waist were on fire and itching and I had to get in the shower (which my mum warned against) and like “defrost” them… then later voila I was sick.. ugh!.. Saturday saw me feel a bit better but it was shaky, thank god Sato is there to cheer me up…
So Sato announced it was international woman’s day and that seeing as he has an “International Woman” he should take advantage of that haha he is so silly… So what better way than to go roller booting, looking around a cute sim and do some shopping. I found out ChicChica owner had a sim dedicated to Spring, of all seasons this is my favourite, when everything starts coming to life after its been asleep in the winter, my hay fever is normally the first indication of this, but fuck hay fever that’s what Benadryl is for. I think its the colours all those pastels and the sun starts getting a bit brighter each day. I would happily wake up in a neighbourhood that looks like this sim every single morning, I love it!! .. Sato and then finished up our day date relaxing at the café and talking abt ideas we have for it, I love the weekends… Oh yes and also there was a new episode of Life after Lockup and all I can say is Shavel needs to quit with this Beyonce attitude she has going on cos its really dislikeable and I’m disappointed as I thought she was humble, now she is just a dick and making me feel sorry for Quaylon, how did this shift in events happen!! Enough Enough… better journally next week then i wont need to chat so much at once *note to self*….. night night week!!
So in class today I found out we will be returning to normal class activities on 16th March which I am gutted about. Maureen is a crappy teacher if its on zoom or in class, she is sarcastic and impatient she needs to retire. I know quite a few people in our class failed the past 2 exams so this is probably why as I really believed that all higher education that was practical was to be resumed in class otherwise it would be remotely. I know there are certain software’s they have dummies for in class that we use and cannot have at home so maybe this is why, Maureen couldn’t tell us but she seemed pleased. I will speak to my doctor as I am not comfy with this at all and whether I am in class or not I end up having to explain to myself anything that doesn’t drop straight away regardless. At least I have 10 days and this could even all change. Im super tired after class today and while I have managed awake late enough to be paid at midnight and buy linden $ I have run out of steam for shopping and I am at minus energy… Booooo!!!! I havent even energy to write here 😦
Visited a place called Lightning Bolt and took some fun photos… this place is like Alice in Wonderland meets Lord of the Rings… so colourful and inspiring XD
Sooo tomorrow did come!! Hello there tomorrow, I have been waiting for you!! it was a 5/10 pain scale and with the help of some painkillers and a bit of mind over matter I could accomplish great things today…. When I also the managed to get into Uber event before I started class I knew this day was special 😛 I had only 20 mins to look around though but I didn’t let that phase me, I didn’t buy a thing I have been learning ALWAYS get demos as this pregnancy legacy body is not great with all mesh clothing… Why would I buy a dress and then alpha away my whole torso shape? I was so disappointed, I do understand that these things are not easy but it isn’t rigged for legacy correctly if I have to then alpha away my shape of my actual body is it? maybe its that I don’t understand how it works and I need to shut up but I know some clothes are great and some are not. I will go back I saw some cute things but only had 1 dress in mind.
Karol and I practically got the coffee lounge finished today, I’m so excited!! It will be nice to have somewhere that is geared towards our lifestyle and is a safe space for people to enjoy. I just hope people will enjoy it that is the main aim… we spent hours and lots of energy trying to find a music stream and have settled on a lounge type station for now. We did want a Bossa Nova jazz (I think that’s correct) haha so I say we but this is not my expertise at all I was leaving this to Karol and Clint right now. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and the nicest thing, a friend of ours gifted a danceball to us. Well to me for our café.. so now I need to make sure it gets lots of use cos that’s the sweetest gesture and its a big investment (it was a hefty price) ohh I cry a lot.. especially sweet kind things. The other day I was telling my mum about this show called “The Kindness Diaries” and that it was the nicest show so I showed her the trailer….. there is a part in the trailer (I will link it in) where he gives the homeless man who helped him basically a brand new life… it was only about 30 seconds in and I was off… my mum looks at me like I’m doing something unnatural and that’s it I’m just practically sobbing trying to explain why its so nice and why I’m crying.. like a moron XD I don’t care its normal to cry about shit.
My mum only cries when she has been upset… not when she is actually sad or upset, she behaves like its not normal. Only when she has had something bad is said to her she will cry in front of you otherwise its like taboo… I can hear her voice now “what are you crying about” like its something to feel ashamed about *eye roll* I remember crying Christmas 2019 when dinner was being cooked as I was unable to eat anything and I had slept most the day already and my family acted like I didn’t exist to cope with it and my mums soothing words of “crying about it won’t help” were far from helpful. Its probably to do with the way she was brought up… oh well I cant live that way happy stuff makes me cry.. sad stuff makes me cry so I have to live with me how I am… cry it all out I say!! Most of the time I keep it to myself, that is the beauty of my socialising mainly being on second life XD Crying is a basic expression like laughing… imagine if u couldn’t laugh and react to things in a normal way without ppl getting all awkward… Gosh this world is just complicated to navigate…
Ok so this is getting a bit tedious… You know most of the time people complain about other people letting them down, breaking plans, standing them up… but my body does this to me continuously recently. Every day I make plans to do something it may be only small and hardly anything but it will be something I enjoy.. my body has its own agenda. I will be honest I am fed up, I know there are other people that go through what I do (where are youuuuu??) but its easy to lose hope. I mean all I planned to do today was paint my nails, put on a face mask, cook a nice dinner, spend some time on second life… instead I have been trying to distract myself with tv under the influence of codeine which makes it impossible to sleep while spending 4 hrs force feeding myself banana and a meal replacement shake.. with a hot water bottle on my stomach.
I did have a lovely Sunday though, Sato logged in before he went grocery shopping Sun morning as always and we went to the Mystical Forest to dance and catch up.. we hardly see each other all week and have a lot to talk about at the weekends… Off he went to shop and I explored then rested. Sundays are nice for me as my college week doesn’t start until Tuesday so I normally pull a late one. A friend Tam invited me to her DJ set just as Sato logged back in for the eve like she couldn’t have timed it better…. So off we went to dance and crash (effing internet) at Blackcats… I love to dance and chat with Sato and I cant wait till he DJ’s at the cafe… exciting times ahead now all you have to do body is not be in too much pain that I don’t have to be zonked out on meds all the flipping time…. pleaseeeeee
College tomorrow so an early night for me tonight… Ughhhh Maureen gosh she better not be a rude old bag tomorrow cos I just haven’t the patience…. meowww and out
Ok so isn’t exactly a eureka moment but I witnessed something today about myself, a not very productive way of thinking I guess you could call it. Its Saturday and my partner Sato has been at work all week and so I have been looking forward to today soooo much. I woke up and my pain today was a 10/10, for an idea my baseline is like a 5/10 most days anything lower is great and a real break and anything more is verging on just not able to enjoy life very much. The trouble with a 10/10 is even painkillers only take to a 6/10 at best … anyway my point. So normally I’m itching for Sato to message me in his am (he is 7hrs behind me) and I was waiting for some kind of painkiller, remedy, act of God to work so my thinking was just “sleep late pleaseeee”. But then he logged in at his 8am and my thinking is “oh no, I’m not even well yet!”…. then I was so conscious that I just sound so miserable complaining about how much pain I’m in and before I realise I am over explaining it and justifying myself while also panicking that soon he will get bored of this sick girl so I need to shut up and be cheerful and find something else to talk about… the trouble is when he then proceeded to need to log out I was relieved I have time to be more cheerful and fun (not in pain) and also sad that maybe I haven’t been a good partner and now I will miss him, its all so confusing lol… HELP!… I feel such a pressure to be my best self around people and not really trouble anyone that I tend to enjoy just doing things on my own instead, not because I feel grumpy or sad more that I don’t feel anxiety or pressure this way that I am maybe not being a good friend, family member or partner. Maybe its not the best way to be, I really do not know… I am not unhappy with my life in general at all, I am very fortunate in some ways and am grateful for the people I do share it with. I am unhappy with my health, but I feel I do the best I can, but I do not mind being alone doing my little hobbies and stuffs… In fact… I find myself quite fun XD
I went on a super shopping spree today as also need furniture and nick nacks for the coffee shop… I got soooo many new outfits as everyone decent is making for legacy body now it seems (thank you creators!!!) so have managed to get some good basics in my inventory. The coffee shop is really coming along, its so cute!! Sato and I spent some time together, altogether its been a super cute day.
Hmmm what else happened today…. Oh my darn cat caught a robin which is so upsetting as my mum told me after that she only has the 1 visit her garden, he was very proud of himself and placed it carefully under my bed for me… He has 2 bells on his collar to prevent this, he needs a bloody siren… well I best get to sleep.. my inventory needs attention in the morning it feels like a tornado I am constantly chasing so will need a rested head.
I have been a rather busy bee the last couple of days, you know when you feel you can breath as lots of unfinished tasks have been completed its so nice to feel free lol. Actually along with having finished many of these tasks (most being paperwork or physical type tasks for my mumma) have got some other silly things accomplished. Karol and I finallyyyyyy finally brainstormed enough to come up with a name for our coffee house, soooo *drum roll* Kindred Spirits Coffee Lounge. We were trying to think of something that was gender neutral, that promoted a ‘friendship’ atmosphere and seems like a tranquil space. Oh yeah and in fact we also have the building and the land and everything apart from all the interior, but thats the fun part!! Sato and I did have a little play around with the DJ booth as he will be after all our resident DJ XD
Also Sato and I have our married name… introducinggggg the ‘Bravekittens’ haha its so awesome. Hmmmm well its just been absolutely hectic as I wanted to get everything done before next week, I have landed myself a little bit of personal assistant work rl its just 6 hrs a week but I want my life to be organised before I try and organise someone else’s. I really hope 6hrs should be manageable… we will see, I am optimistic at least its just admin and accounts. So bed! I need to sleep away the week and wake up refreshed for a day of shopping and fun…. I think Sato and I are going on a picnic which should be super fun….. yawnnnnnnnnnnnn…. sleeeeepppppppp xoxox
Ok so I knew once I got a new computer I would be taking photos a lot more, but now its literally my favourite thing to do. I have always enjoyed creating things and used to sew and make lots of stuff for my home, and get clothes from the charity store an customize and adapt them but I lost heart in that and haven’t been in my own home for over a year now. In fact I do have my sewing machine at my mums’ but I haven’t used it once, I was planning on altering loads of clothes that had become too big but hardly seems much point when we don’t go out to wear them and my weight is stabilising again now thankfully so maybe that’s a task for this spring. That is of course if I can tear myself away from snapping shots on second life. Its not even taking the photo, its setting the stage and making it look natural and in context is the part I enjoy most…. Then finding a destination for the photo and creating some drama… Who says accountants are boring?? lol
I had a proper day off today so went exploring in the A New York City Winter sim today to take photographs and explore. Anyone looking to create some art is spoiled for landmarks here I will link their website, flickr and the landmark below. It is even possible to book a break in NYC via their online booking system website and is a whole resort experience, I may just have to surprise Sato. Shopping today was thanks to Cosmopolitan Event where I grabbed a cute little set I wore to go on a photoshoot in Tokyo with the gorgeous Karol. Was quite amusing as I haven’t spoken to her to fess up but I managed to edit her lumipro poseball to 320 metres away from me and had to navigate her back to me using the radar and zooming in… my cat decided to head butt my hand while I was adjusting her and then she was gone. I had to ditch Karol while she was still afk (sorrryyyy Karol!!) to come to my bed and wind down for sleep so literally writing this with all intentions of shutting my eyes in 5 mins…..will upload mine and Karols snapshots tomorrow….. xoxoxox
I finished class today and actually felt as if I had learnt something, which is kind of exciting compared to my normal panicked fog and self doubt… most of my classes since Christmas have gone like this ”nodding, nodding (understanding) nodding nodding (getting confused) staring at book, staringggggg hard at book (really confused now)* and then defeat I just kind of go along as though I understand… that is the only pro of zoom, Maureen cant look over my shoulder. What really doesn’t help people are all shouting out and then she starts answering questions for everyone to hear while you are trying to focus on a different thing you are having trouble with then I have a problem and everyone has to listen to that while they work and so on. There must be a different art to zoom teaching as this format is not working for me. Who on earth wants to fess up in front of everyone they don’t understand something that all others seem to get? Maybe we are all there doing the same thing?! omg lol!! But seems this is what we are now stuck with until September which is sad but by then I hope I may also be well enough to enjoy having our freedom again so I can emerge like a butterfly from a malnourished and pale caterpillar lol XD
Seeing as real life had been so productive I thought I would take a nap before I meet Second Life with my friend Karol, we have a ”girls business meeting” XD I cant drink of course so no champagne for me (Boooo!!) 18 weeks pregnant now ❤ So we did have an actual agenda for our girly day along with just checking on one another, we are looking to open a café or coffee shop.. a non alcoholic bar basically along those lines. Something that is inclusive and a safe space for people to enjoy and a neutral zone for friends to meet. Its fun to plan and I’m sure it will be super fun to run! We have secured a land so that’s first step done and we have 2 buildings in mind but cannot decide so we need some input on this… so far so good… What a productive day… and I napped for 3 hours so should be awake to see Sato when he reaches home… Go Kisi!! what a nice day… am I tempting fate saying this? its 9.30pm.. 2.5 hrs to go, I really hope not.. let me go hide.
11.10am: My Monday started as any Monday does, with 90 Day Fiancé and tea while I clear my head ready for college this week. I feel like I build understandings and affinities with the people in the show lol not in a crazy stalker way but you know its sometimes good to see your own reactions to a situation simulated, it makes you feel understood and valid. Haha maybe I am over analysing it and I just enjoy drama, but I find myself cheering on certain people (I’m meaning literally too) and commiserating with others (crying lol) and feeling bad for them. In this season Yara is my favourite female, I think she is hilarious, sassy, has great self worth and Jovi her fiance is just hmmmmm, well I think he needs to do a lot of growing up to do basically. My fave couple in general though are Rebecca and Zied, their relationship is so sincere and respectful, awwwww i just want to hug them both! And well I don’t dislike anyone but I really feel that someone needs to stage an intervention for Stephanie, no joke I feel bad she seems so confused and dare I say unstable. I mean everyone is telling her she is crazy but its not really a laughing matter as she also seems a bit intoxicated all the time ok ok enough! why do I have so much to say about this? Probably because I have college work I should be doing and its 11am already….
9.50pm: My hubby Sato and I joked yesterday about how we never argue and well its a difficult thing to analyse why… I mean its not that we don’t disagree, we do and quite often and we listen to each other and try and understand where each other is coming from, we don’t act with spite or contempt, we never feel like we need to hurt each other or win anything… of course we will not have the same views we have had considerably different lives it would be unreasonable to believe we will agree on all things or won’t have differences of opinion on certain things all we can ever do is try and understand where the other is coming from and not disrespect each others feelings or opinions. I don’t know why we don’t argue though, I guess it comes down to we fulfil each others needs. I asked Sato did he ever feel like he had to ‘tolerate’ or ‘sacrifice’ anything when being with me and thats why we get on so well and he said no only his sanity so phew cos I am hardly on the sane end of the spectrum! Love My Sato… Time for bed now real life its 11pm and class in the morning.. I already feel like I am behind arghhhhh
I woke up today…. the end!!… haha but sometimes days do happen that way. I had a big outing to the Covid vaccine centre today, nowadays any reason to go out feels like an occasion. I found myself planning outfits in a bid to get some use out of my ”can be seen in public” clothing, its a pity its cold and raining or I may have given heels a try but the Uggs had to suffice XD. Then I went and stuck a coat on top of it all anyway, well a jacket, a pale pink fur one haha! Cos ‘Im going outside’ \o/
Its important that we look after ourselves first before we look after anyone else we get told so we can be in the best possible position to be able to shoulder others problems. I mean we have all been there, not caring for ourselves and not realising. I read about this structure they use for people who are being rehabilitated from something. I have ‘tried’ to practice it for a few years. Basically you make sure you have a plan for every single day within your limitations of course as not everyone is completely physically able, its just basic care needs, routine and structure. So for example, you always wake at 8am, you always eat breakfast after you do some stretching at 9.30, you make your bed, you shower always before lunch, you always go for a 30 mins walk in the afternoon, you always do laundry on a certain day each week, you do vacuuming/mopping certain days, always cook a proper meal on the weekdays etc, etc… not necessarily those times or things of course but that’s the idea, things that are fundamental care needs. If you were in hospital these are services that are given to you as part of your care and if you are unable to do these things for yourself, God bless you as that must be frustrating ❤. Apparently If you methodically practice this in time it will improve your confidence and make your days feel more purposeful and has a tremendous effect on your mental health. I think there is a lot to take from it though as I didn’t realise today how much of a lift it would be to just get dressed and put on some make up to go to the covid vaccine centre, lol and my mum felt the same way. It feels nice when we make an effort for ourselves.
I have found also sometimes its difficult to find inspiration when we are stuck at home but at least we have second life to play in and have fun… dress up and wear pj’s to the club if you like. My friend Karol had shown me this little coffee house called Tanya’s a while back. I needed to catch up with some inventory management and messages, so thought I would hang here while doing that and waiting on hubby to log back in. I will link below in case anyone in the world out there has got this far without falling asleep or rolling their eyes at me and clicking out *x*. I have had a cute little weekend, my routine always goes a bit crazy but back to 9am waking and college next week, I can already feel myself falling behind and its the start of the new mid term!! *sigh* ❤ Everything is linked below under images XD
Hair: Foxy – Echo (Blondes)
Jacket: Muse x Moon Elixir – Penthouse Princess Fur Jacket
So wow this week was a little rocky but I made it, the weekend and the sales have arrived!! So Saturday I think is maybe my favourite day, I always with last nights instalment of ‘Life after lockup’ on WE TV on demand while I have my morning cup of tea (strong, tiny bit of canned milk and 2 sugars) then I prep in second life to hit the sales, after a quick stop at the currency exchange of course. I have started making lists now and trying on demos and trying to utilise already bought items in my inventory so I can at least be a little more organised. DELETE DEMOS that is also a must… My lovely hubby has the weekend off from work so I logged in second life, did a little shopping while he had a lay in and also I looked for a date venue for us for today.
So after a little catch up and some big hugs we got ready and went to ‘Burrow Coffee Co.’ they were having a Ru Paul Drag Race Party, how fun what a great surprise!! This is a cute place, feels very homely and we just hung out on the sidelines and caught up with each others weeks and saved the dancing till later. Cannot wait to return here XD…. Sato logged off and went for a little nap so I decided to bake some cookies I had waiting in my inventory from ‘What Next’ @ Shop & Hop event ready for when he woke up, the sugar should help with energy for my sleepy man to go dancing. What a nice relaxing day after a bit of a hectic week. Let there be many more Saturdays like this!!
So yesterday was a difficult day, we lay to rest my mums closest friend and a surrogate Aunt to myself and my brother (even my brother in law). She didn’t have any children of her own and we all adopted her, she would always spend Christmas with us. Its sad because until yesterday it was as if it wasn’t quite real, she was fine on Christmas day. 3 days later, she has a cold then 3 more days later and she is taken into hospital with covid. Myself and my mum last spoke to her by text on 3rd Jan, we thought her phone battery must have gone. She actually said in her last text on my phone, that she was ok for now so I hope that’s what she also remembered too. She had been put into a coma and on Mon 25th January her life support was sadly turned off.
She was unstoppable during covid running around doing chores for others as she always had before as if there was nothing to fear. She loved horses and spent her life training them, blue and green were her fave colours and she would save every penny so she could visit her sister in Australia for at least a month each year, so I have tried to capture these things in my snap. I remember her for her awesome driving and driving me to job interviews etc when I was younger lol and always getting lost even with gps because she ‘recognises here’. She would get tipsy on Baileys at Christmas and was the first to put on a party hat. She once fell off a mobility scooter free wheeling down a 35% hill and broke her pelvis, she had gone to the top of the hill for photo signal on vacation she didn’t even need a scooter… she was a brilliant woman, a free spirit and hilarious! She will be sadly missed, when life returns to normal after covid it will be then that we feel these voids the most. Unfortunately I feel being so isolated has made us forget the impact other people normally have upon our lives, I realised this yesterday and I’m sure my mum did even more so…. Rest in Peace Aunt Kathy we will truly miss your presence
OK so not being Christian I didn’t understand exactly what Shrove Tuesday was but I did some research… Apparently its mainly British Christians who do this (according to wikipedia) I am not completely ignorant or uneducated and did realise it was something to do with Easter XD…. So it is the start of lent when people feast before sacrificing luxuries and live modestly for 40 days before Easter in a bid to repent their sins. Well anything is worth a try I guess but I have only really observed people doing the pancake eating not the sacrifices after. I am so surprised the world has so many different ways Christians celebrate this same holiday but I like the pancake idea personally ❤
In real life I made some rather surprisingly tasty gluten free/diary free/low fat pancakes (my mum joked maybe they will be taste free!! damn cheeky) BUT in Second Life I made full on luxury pancakes with chocolate sauce and butter thanks to Hangry Store and their pancakes plate. There were a lot to choose from but chocolate wins
I always used to wonder what people meant by would you rather be right or would you rather be happy… Well I was listening to a podcast this weekend and a therapist explained it in a way I can finally understand. So we are there on our death bed and we are thinking of all the things that have made us happy.. never normally would anyone die and be counting off all the times they have been right ”ohhh that time I was right aha yes!’. So to cut someone off because of one thing that you haven’t even communicated correctly or to make a stand often is pointless as that person may have contributed a lot of happy unless of course you were not that keen on the person in the first place and this was a fabulous excuse. I fell out with a friend in second life but a real life connection also. I dealt with it kinda crappy to begin with and was upset or didn’t deal with it as I have this huge avoidant problem in fact is how we got to not talking but I had a lot of outside emotional factors I couldn’t deal with that I hoped as a friend would be understood now I explained. I don’t know, maybe I am wrong maybe am right I was not honestly trying to be neither right now it was about opening a conversation with my prepared notes at hand but maybe I dealt with it shit again!! I wish I could function like a normal human even behind an avatar I don’t know how to communicate lol .. Hope maybe I have learnt something from this *sigh* I ended up being told I had an ego problem and insults started being thrown my way which is never for anything but to inflict pain and how I felt was dismissed so hey ho off for a nap I go I cannot deal. Sometimes things are not as they appear but if people still decide to see them that way even with the real information … then they should definitely never be a judge or on a jury for sure!!! Then learning this person is there ok enough to watch my movements (mapping me on sl) and translating them into some subliminal message to them but not reaching out its sad… let start again Wednesday XD… the fact of the matter is Ego is also our self esteem so yes I hope I do have some ego as I hope anyone does… an inflated ego is that you are expecting more importance than u deserve. so maybe I was… who knows but by all accounts this person did think I did!! Going to get some Zzzzzz’s xoxo
So today started off a bit crappy real life was a stress but thanks to second life it seems to be ending a lot calmer, I am my family scape goat its a big responsibility. I’m not joking or being a drama queen I have actually read abt this and listening to psychologists talking abt this, when there has been an enemy within the family people get used to it and always find a person to centralize the drama around like an enemy within. My dad was that person and I get told I am like him its rather ridiculous because wasn’t that the point??. Imagine a child being similar to their parent?? Imagine having a child with someone and going ‘oh dear it looks and acts like us!!’ haha Science eh, cant live with it, can’t live without it but some seem to not understand it’s basics, like people who think covid is a myth, do not get me started!! …. Anywaysssss what did I actually do today? I went to Paris of course because, second life! ……..
So I make my way quite casually for Midnight in Paris but once I was there and looking around I wished I were wearing stripes and a beret and carrying a Chanel bag, but I was in sneakers and jeans *sigh* I was there now and also, I did look cute! Of course I needed to take a photo of myself with the Eiffel Tower in the background and while I stood getting my camera ready, a werewolf landed and proceeded to walk around behind me and then lay in my shot …An American werewolf in Paris to boot, well she was Canadian and very friendly and so I shared with her the photo with us and carried on sight seeing. There is a carousel and a cute park with benches and seats, Its really pretty here and a great atmosphere to hang with a few friends and take some photos. I imagine in real life it would smell of fresh bread, cigarettes and heavy perfumes along with the normal 21st century pollution. I enjoyed my time here and did return later to show one of my friends and also my Sato around but didn’t take my camera.. I will definitely return though, in my beret. I also attended a second life speed dating event but I did not participate, it didn’t really work well as I think there were a lack of male suitors. It was held at the Astralia sim and was for Cupid.Inc. I found a cute video of the event from a Youtuber I subscribe to I can see me and my friend then later also Sato over by the DJ dancing about an hour in so am rather in the background. It was cute and fun, the music was great.
I don’t know the history of Valentines, Is Saint Valentine an official Saint not of the Kanye West kind? Also I don’t understand who the hell Cupid is and how come when I try and get people to pair up it all goes tits up! I have questions!! Maybe that’s my next youtube wormhole while I wait for my hubby to wake up from a nap and take me dancing. Unless I get distracted shopping like earlier. Have already enjoyed a lovely morning with him my lovely goofy valentine.
I got this adorable chocolate tray from JunkFood a rezzable and a wearable with bento animated snacks, cute right!! Oh! and ventured again to the Valentines Shop n Hop and need to go back there is loads still I need to see. Managed to get Sato a really smart Tuxedo from the ‘Swear by L&B’ there and it was discounted so all around win, I will try and grab a photo of him in it looking handsome. I have only visited 3 of the sims so far I don’t know if I will even make it all the way around, I know some people have lists of the gifts to teleport to but I like to walk around (not cam) so I can browse like a real life human. Also still on my ‘to do’ list is the So kawaii Sunday sale, I need makeup since I switched to Lelutka which I’m LOVING! I do not know how I managed with my Genus facial animations for so long, It was such a pity I loved my head but that glitch was a stress anyone can do with along with the neck problem *sigh* its like a shit boyfriend that you think is great underneath but not for you and you know them so well, the unknown is scary and you finally dump them and you are like ”why didn’t I do that before, it wasn’t even so hard”. So to anybody hesitating about taking the plunge but cannot cope with Genus any longer, do not fear it is much nicer over here with no neck line I promise.
Monday tomorrow… Oh and no college for me for a week! Its mid term break.. although my tutor believes as we are lockdown anyway and apparently not doing anything we can attend zoom class… Oh can we? lol the assumptions people make! I have a whole second life over here Karen!! hehe I’m sure she means well in fact and she is giving us her time too. I do in fact have a busy week, A Lady who was like family and my mummas closest friend passed away 3 weeks ago from covid19, her funeral is this Thursday 18th Feb. I have been staying with my mum since March last year and although its not ideal it beats being alone in these times of strict lockdown especially with something like this happening. So if I am quiet and not around I might be with my mum ❤ Thursday will be difficult and I’m so crappy with death and how to handle it, I will save that for another day XD.. As always will share below everything within my photos and any websites or landmarks but I may leave things out so just drop me a message ❤❤
Day time outfit
Pose with balloon and milkshake prop: [Empowered] Love Day (Access Weekend Sale 60L)
Outfit: Pink Cream Pie – Valentina Set (pink) (The Saturday Sale)
Hair: Magika Alyssa (All color hud)
Chocolate Tray: Junk Food Store (The Saturday Sale)
Earrings: Lemme – Love earrings (The Saturday Sale)
I’m not really that concerned about gifts on Valentines I would rather find something meaningful to do, make an amazing brunch, laze at the pool, maybe even play pool and go dancing and in second life the possibilities are truly endless and time is more valuable than money. I know the things I remember vividly and fondly are things that made me laugh and smile, so less gifts and more gifs maybe? Also, maybe its me but I find nothing makes me smile more than surprising someone and making them smile. Like in the friends episode, the selfless act episode I don’t know the official title but Pheobe was trying to do something good that didn’t feel good and it wasn’t possible. Its a little like telling people you have got a rescue dog but neglecting to tell them because the owner died of old age. We all like to feel good about about ourselves and what better way to start than just being more mindful to give people our time and effort for the things they enjoy, anyone can buy stuff not everyone can be selfless.
When Sato asked what I would like for Valentines I suggested he buy us matching watches that way he can maybe remember my time its sentimental. ❤ I love them, They are fancy & cute which were the keywords and have Sato and Kisi 4eva engraved on them….. I had already found us matching outfits at Furtacor in the Access Weekend Sale for 60L$ to wear so we are all set for a corny Valentines day date, perfectly vomit inducing!!… I, as always take a photo and Sato, as always pulls a silly face, he is such a dork but my dork. Without his encouragement I probably wouldn’t have started this journal ❤
I followed through on my promise of pizza for dinner as came across this fab pizza box from Chris Two Designs in the Saturday sale for 75L$, its a giver that is wearable and people can actually choose their own slice, it also has a customizable hud what a great way to end the afternoon.. Now to get ready to go dancing with my Sato and then get ready for bed… It was a really lovely pre valentines day anything you may need to know should be listed below
Hurrah I have done it!! Friday 12th Feb 2021 and starting my journal the start of Valentines weekend. In all honesty I am trying to clear my head from watching ‘The Cecil’ on Netflix I felt retail therapy sl style may help. If you haven’t watched it yet it’s very respectfully made but left me so upset and angry that nobody just asked Elisa Lam if she was ok or at least been regretful afterwards that they didn’t, but they didn’t and its just very sad . I hope it will make me more mindful of this in the future. Also Elisa Lam kept a Tumblr journal and so what better way to start….
On to the shopping trip, I have hardly seen my hubby Sato all week so did try and get a couple of new dresses before he reached home but got a little distracted showing my friend Karol a super bargain in the ‘Fifty Linden Friday’ Sale and then well we got to chat and **ding ding** he is home *sigh*… Sato really doesn’t mind but he didn’t know yet we are going shopping tomorrow hehe, if you look closely you can see him having a little rest behind me at the WIP Event (linked below). He did capitalize though as you can see from my reaction in the featured photo, he then informed me that I would be preparing dinner all weekend (like I won’t order Uber Eats)
If you haven’t looked around the WIP event yet then I recommend, I got a gorgeous dress I hope to wear for a date night tomorrow so keep an eye out for that in my posts. Also the Weekend sales are starting they are my favourites, I will link the pages for my preferred sales and everything that I am wearing under my photos, if you see anything I haven’t listed please feel free to contact me. ❤